Conn's

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June 27 2011 part 1
connxx
So New York just passed their same-sex marriage equality bill.  Which is so exciting and so amazing and I realize that this is only the beginning and there is so much more to be done for the movement towards queer-equality, but this. today. (or rather, the 25th) is amazing, because this means that one of the most progressive states in the us is finally making a change. is making a step.  and my god, what a wonderful step it is. 

and it's pride week/day/parade, whatever it's called. so that's bound to be epic. even more epic than usual.  one day, i will attend a pride parade. i will.  i must celebrate and i also, let's face it, need to be aware and need to be more knowledgeable about this community... or, as it should be better called... our community.  because the queer population is not a small one, and because i am woefully ignorant about this cause and i don't want to be.  and also because i want to get drunk and have some fucking fun.  so i better be legal when i go.  and what i love love love the most about pride parade... aside from the colours and the sex?  i think it's about love. and that's so beautiful and that truly deserves all the rainbows in the world.

what I really love is what this means for a lot of people.  (we're jumping back to ny) gay rights are everyone rights.  in the words of daniel radcliffe (i know, but bear with me here), you don't have to be gay to be a supporter. you just have to be human.  and i think that's so true and so so simple yet profound.  because why wouldn't you?  why wouldn't you support gay rights? 

in terms of same-sex marriage... i think, if anyone is lucky enough to find that someone who they want to spend the rest of their lives with, loving them, then my god, they should be able to marry them.  and even if they don't find that someone.. they should be able to. they have a right to it. they, like everyone else, because they are everyone else... should be able to marry and love whoever they want.

in more crass terms, why do you care what parts their partner has?  you're not the one going on their honeymoon, you're not the one who's going to be having sex with any of them... so why do you care whether it's a penis or a vagina?  how does it relate to you?  it doesn't.  the only thing that does matter is that they're happy and wow. aren't they lucky?  isn't that such a happy occasion?  isn't that wonderful?

yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.  a thousand times yes.  i am so happy and so delighted for all the people of new york. and i hope many more 'yes's are said tonight and this week and forever. and i'm also so fucking grateful that canada does allow same-sex marriage.  because in a city as diverse and as accepting as toronto, it's great to see that the rest of the world is catching up as well.

i was reading mary flanner's journal (this amazing LJ author in glee fanfiction) and her words tonight to her baby girl was that she was so happy that she's able to tell her daughter that whoever she grows up to be, there's another place that she can call home.  and hopefully, by the time it matters to her, she'd have said it 43 more times. 

what a fucking class act.  so true and touching and lovely.

speaking of LJ authors, I love reading about rm. she is also queer and while her fiction work is amazing and real with conflict that's petty and lifechanging at the same time, her entries about real life, and being a queer are even more so.  right now, on her front page, she has this posted: I will not apologize for: being queer, genderqueer, female or successful; having a not insignificant online readership; living with an invisible illness; changing my mind; or for how i look.  this is as much a reminder to me as it is to you.

all the awards and all my respect, already. 

and because she says it so much better than i do:

You don't even want to know what provoked this (but to say I am spitting mad at fandom is the understatement of the YEAR). HOWEVER:

Gay rights are everyone rights.

Really.

Even if you're straight.

Gay rights are the rights that mean you get to keep being a human being whether you're straight, whether you're queer, or whether your heart and your desire just happen to surprise you on some alternate Tuesday.

They're the rights that mean you don't have to worry about whether you look straight enough or enough like a boy or a girl (as "appropriate") to be safe.

And they're the rights that mean your friends or your kids or your parents or you know, anyone, gets to keep being a person too.

Gay rights are human rights. Human rights are everyone's rights, even when you think they are not directly relevant to you.


there's more! 
here are so more memorable entries by her:
about binladen dying and living in ny http://lettersfromtitan.com/2011/05/02/in-a-lot-of-ways-i-would-have-preferred-the-aliens/
about being queer and her parents http://lettersfromtitan.com/2011/05/18/need-want-and-adjectives/
pride parade http://lettersfromtitan.com/2011/06/07/the-ghost-of-pride-past-and-future/
names and labelling http://lettersfromtitan.com/2011/06/14/i-dont-have-a-lot-but-i-have-a-lot-of-name/
ny's marriage equality http://rm.livejournal.com/2088733.html

i have so many feelings on this subject. so many feelings.  feelings of elation. but also confusion, because there's so much that i don't know, and so much that i have yet to learn.  this community (queer) is so diverse and covers so many people.

in fact, just recently, i learned what queer meant.  i always thought that it was an insult to call someone queer, but now i realize it's not.  it's a description and a way of "classifying" anyone who isn;'t the norm.  and that's not offensive or insulting unless you make it to be.  in fact, i remember reading from rm that she finds it a comfort, because it's the one word that she can belong to.  so i am going to start using the word queer more often, to describe, not only the gay community, but also anyone else who is not gay.

in the case of terminology and words and labelling, this site is probably one of the most informative ones.  it's a comic talking about defining gender, sex and sexuality.  idk how, but somehow, they've managed to wrangle these deep and complicated words and have them MAKE SENSE in PICTURES. 

that's talent.  http://www.roostertailscomic.com/?p=994

what i understand now, is that sexuality is not rigid. it can't be boxed and it's not stagnant.  sexuality is fluid, and that means you can travel up and down and through and under "categories", because you are not limited or restricted or confined by them.  or rather, you shouldn't be, because right now, we are.  right now, i am a 16 year old teenaged canadian middle-class female, and i am straight.  i can admire a female's beauty, and i have, because i have some fucking gorgeous friends who are so attractive.  but i'm not attracted to them.  i am only attracted to guys.  but that doesn't mean that i'm always going to be straight.  it's not a one time check in the box thing and it's set in stone for life.  it's anything but that. 

i want to say that i came up with this realization/ephinany/really deep conclusion all on my own.  but i didn't.  in fact, out of all the places that i did, i got it from a glee fanfic, and rpf... and it taught me a lot about sexuality.  not because it's sexy. but because of the way that a previously straight male person is feeling towards another of the same sex, and is being confined by his label.  right here is the first part.

and since we're on the topic of queer issues (yes, me? following a topic?  like an actually organized train of thought?  fuck yeah, i'm full of surprises. that's right.)

rob ford. WHAT A DOUCHE.  he's not attending pride parade. when so many of our mayors have attended all these years to show their support.  he's totally homophobic. and fuckers.  god.  THIS IS THE PERSON WE ELECTED AS OUR MAYOR, GUYS!!! grr.  god, this makes me rage so hard.  he should totally be there to support pride.  because again, the queer community is not a small one, and it deserves all the support and love it can get.  it should get.  god.

and this has nothing to do with queers now, but everything to do with labels... is this link which talks about "real women" and how real women have curves. and real women don't have curves. 

this website really provided a new insight for me, because it's true.  what, so thin women are fake?  no.  as much as i understand what people are getting at, how most girls are influenced by the media and airbrushing and photoshop and diets and beyonce's ass... blah blah blah, i also now see that real women is all women.  (and i'm pretty sure that was some bad grammar), but it's so true and so insightful and i had to link it here before i forgot. 

wow, so this is really long right now, so i'm probably going to have to split this up...

I JUST HAS TOO MANY FEELINGS!!!

so... let's continue on to part 2.

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